#5 Fighting for the restaurant bill

While Chinese people proudly wear the badge of cheapness, they also take great pride in being recognized as a generous individual. This is just one of many ways to bring honour to themselves and their family.

Generosity from Chinese people can come in many forms. This ranges from gifts to friends and family, letting their friends win at Mahjong, or frantically calling friends about a great deal on fresh meats or produce. However, the most vocal and effective form is fighting for the restaurant bill.

This form of generosity is effective not only because it turns heads at the restaurant, but also because the 'losers' in the struggle must commend the 'winner' on his and/or her wiles and generosity. Given the hypothetical situation of a friend group consisting of three couples, if one couple pays once, there is increased pressure at the next meal for the two non-paying couples to pay for the bill first. It should be noted that one couple paying more than twice in a row is often viewed as disrespectful or what non-Chinese would call "a dick move". Should this over-genorsity continue, future requests for dinner meet-ups with the two other couples will be met with reluctance and disdain.

While many non-Chinese view paying the restaurant bill as something that is easy and straightforward, it is of great importance to Chinese people. Not only is it an exquisite art, but it is also a game requiring sharp wit, cunning and lighting reflexes. Were Sun Tzu still alive today, he would no doubt be very pleased to learn that his descendants have effectively applied his battlefield strategems to restaurant bill conflicts. While there are numerous strategies available to couples or individual payers, there are two that are tried, true and stand above the rest. They are the 'pretending to go to the bathroom' and classic 'box out' maneuver.

1. Pretending to go to the bathroom

This maneuver is exactly as it sounds. The payer will excuse themselves from the table, citing their need to use the facilities and will meet no resistance as typically, no one suspects a plan is afoot. If the maneuver is pulled off successfully, discovery of payment will only occur when someone other than the payer asks for the bill. However, if the restaurant staff are slow to process the transaction, people at the table will wonder aloud why the payer has been gone to the bathroom for an inordinate amount of time. This will raise alarms among the other diners at the table and will often lead to a string of questioning and a smug confession. If a couple is pulling this maneuver, the payer's accomplice can cite stomach pains or any other number of physical ailments to deflect suspicion. As it is often the male of the couple that is tasked with paying, one should also keep a watchful eye on the female as she is fully capable of paying as well.

2. Box out

Like their basketball idol Yao Ming, many Chinese people are familiar with the box out maneuver. In the case of a single payer, he/she is at a disadvantage because they only have one arm free (other arm is clutching bill) to fend off rivals. As a second step to this strategy, if the single payer meets excessive resistance, they will retreat to the safety of the front cash to pay. In a couple situation, the most common play is to have the female box out rivals on one side while the male deflects with one arm and uses the other arm to bury the bill deep in his lap where no one can reach it. Only after their rivals have taken their seats will the bill once again emerge. The only caveat to this strategy is the requirement of lighting fast reflexes. This can involve snatching the bill directly from the waiter's hand or right before it hits the table.

It is important to note that in these situations, parents may sometimes try to involve their children in these tactics, but the reliability rate is typically low. Fighting for the restaurant bill will typically be met with responses from the children such as "They do this every time!" or "I don't even know why they do this" and the ever-popular re-enactment of a restaurant bill fight.

For non-Chinese people, this knowledge is invaluable and can be used to receive numerous free meals. The key is providing a convincing performance that you really wanted to pay. For added effect, subtly mention after the fact-while pouting-that you really wanted to pay. Bonus points for staring wistfully at your wallet. Not only will you easily gain free meals from here on out, but you will have also boosted the Chinese person's self esteem. This is because they have now shown how generous they are and firmly believe that they have soundly outwitted their opponent. You win every time.