#8 Berating non-Chinese for eating at inauthentic Chinese food establishments

It is no great secret that Chinese people love food. From insects to large water-dwelling mammals, Chinese people will eat anything and everything (to be discussed in a later post). It is this insatiable appetite for good food that drives Chinese people to constantly search for new and delicious places in which to dine.

In their lifelong search, they will come across numerous dining establishments that they will deem to be of high or acceptable quality. Similar to non-Chinese people, Chinese people will often become thrilled at the idea of recommending or sharing a restaurant find with their friends. The difference in this situation, is that due to a Chinese person's (usually) inherent modesty, they will rarely volunteer this choice information. Fortunately, deep interrogation is not required and a simple, "Hey, do you know a good Chinese restaurant?" will suffice.

After a non-Chinese person has been taken to an authentic Chinese restaurant by their Chinese friend, it is expected from that point on (because they "know better") that they will never eat at an inauthentic establishment ever again. This may seem like an unreasonable expectation to most, but the non-Chinese person should try to understand that it's only because their friend means well. Chinese friends (typically) don't let friends eat terrible Chinese food.

In the event that you are with a Chinese friend and you are passing by a mall food court or any place with a visible Chinese take-out establishment, be prepared to hear phrases such as "Ugh, I can't believe people eat at that place" and "It's not even REAL Chinese food!". Under NO circumstance should a non-Chinese person try to defend these establishments or even remotely suggest that chicken balls and egg rolls are authentic Chinese fare. One should only do this at their own peril, unless they wish to hear a long-winded speech about how, "my ancestors never ate chicken balls!"

However, should you ever catch your Chinese friend enjoying "fake" take-out Chinese food, do not hesitate to call them a hypocrite. It doesn't matter how much they've been drinking. They will thank you in the long run.