#12 Negative reinforcement

It is undeniable that having a Chinese upbringing more often than not has produced many upstanding members of society. Delinquent drivers aside, the steady production of legal, financial and health care professionals ensures the continued betterment of society (and the survival of Starbucks)

While child-rearing varies greatly from culture to culture, the difference in style between Western and Chinese culture when it comes to encouragement is similar to the difference between night and day. The method used by Chinese parents to encourage their children is known as 'negative reinforcement' which is defined as, "a behavior strengthened because a negative condition is stopped or avoided as a consequence of the behavior."

This phenomenon can most commonly be observed when tests are returned to a Chinese student. With a score of 90% or greater, a non-Chinese parent would be ecstatic, with the test being worthy of center-fridge placement. In a Chinese household, it is almost guaranteed that the phrase, "Where did the other 10% go?" is uttered, most assuredly causing irreparable damage to the child's self-confidence. This barrage of negative reinforcement only ceases when marks are brought up to an acceptable level, such as 98%. This phenomenon can be extended into career situations where the phrase will change to "Why aren't you a doctor/lawyer/engineer yet?".

For non-Chinese looking to give their Chinese friends a hard time or display their knowledge of negative reinforcement, the phrase "Where's the other x%" is appropriate as a start. For situations where the test score is in the range of 80-90%, the one-two combo of , "So, that's like...Asian fail, right?" followed with, "Man, you're parents are gonna be PISSED" is suitable. This will either destroy their confidence forever or make you two BFF.

#9 Chinese school

In an effort to maintain their child's fragile connection to their heritage, immigrant Chinese parents will almost always send their children to Chinese school. It allows parents to feel that they've done all they can despite the fact that they could have just as easily taught their child at home. However, the irony is usually lost on them.

Usually taking place on a weekly basis on Saturday mornings, these children are taught to read, write and speak Chinese (Cantonese or Mandarin). Given their undying love of education (and authenticity), parents request, nay, demand their children write tests and quizzes. While this method works in theory, studying on a Friday night effectively dashes any hopes that Chinese child had of being considered "cool" among his/her non-Chinese peers. Party? Can't go, studying. Movies? Caged up and studying. Underage drinking? Under surveillance, can't leave. In addition, Chinese children will resent this "extra" school as it cuts into their Saturday Morning Cartoon time. Transformers will not watch itself.

While class is dismissed around noon, this by no means guarantees a child's freedom. When school is over, there are most certainly extra-curricular activities to participate in (sometimes willingly). Fun activities include badminton, art class (chinese painting/calligraphy), Chinese dance and Chinese chess, to name a few.

Should your Chinese friend ever bring up the fact that they were forced to go to Chinese school, you can provide a quantum of solace by telling them the cartoons and parties they missed weren't that good, despite the fact that this is probably a boldfaced lie.

If you were one of the 'lucky' Chinese children that was allowed to 'drop out', consider yourself lucky as your parents just as easily could have taken you to a much more hardcore school two towns over. Should you ever get made fun of by your Chinese friends for being a dropout, just remind them how awesome it was to sleep in and watch cartoons all morning in your pajamas.